sigh

tibe2 rindu oni.

its almost 2 weeks at home n im so boring. i really dun have a clue on wat to do..argghh. the day n week..it moves too slow.. i have another how many weeks huh. rite now im not really in a gud mood. my bf n i seems so.... far... we're not like we used too. he's being cool to me n its so tough. he's really bz doin his work..ermm. some kind of designing or sumting related.. sumtimes i forget about my phone. haihs its sucx. its unexpected. i hate being alone. i cant find sumone else bcuz he's all i wanted. plz help me to work on our relationship. sumhow,tq for taking me for granted. i love u still. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! I love when u call me syg. u makes me feel alive. :) today is our 5 month relationship.

im tryin my best to avoid tis feeling of being ignored. i'd try to be positive and hope its worth it. my ex called me back. two of my ex actually. ely was being nice n we're cool. but im a faithful lover? i guess? we're fighting n yah. its all over. its completely a mess. tis morning my other ex called.."hey how r u..where have u been..yada..yada..tis is my new number..hope we can stay in touch.." ohh fuck u amin. stop messing around me dude. hes also asked about me thru my frens n it doesnt make sense! how i hate tat voice and laugh. u r sum kind of rubbish. go away.

its miserable. its a mess. i lost my sanity. butttt... I dont suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. *tats how i motivated myself..*

ohh im bored. boredom doesnt inspired me at all! i hate those shitty sounds tat came out from my dad's mouth every morning to wake me up. but finally i realized, sumday im goin to miz it :( sorry dady. sumtimes ur daughter..wildly too rough. gosh i feel like retard..wit no feeling! I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages.. Always angry for no reason at all..Constantly wanting to end this brawl..Fighting wit myself again, and again..

keep safe mint. u r the soul survivor. yihaaa!

FEAR

Fear is when you run away,
Fear is when you’re scared to love someone,
Fear is when the sky turns grey,
Fear is when you lose your loved ones,
Fear is a feeling of danger,
Fear is when you aren’t brave,
Fear is the feeling of anger,
Fear is when you can’t behave,
Fear is when your shy,
Fear is like not having devotion,
Fear is when you’re afraid of saying bye,
Fear is like a dark blue ocean,
Fear is like ending you’re career,
Fear is like being lonely,
Fear is like not being able to reappear,
Fear is like feeling ghostly,
Fear is like an ashtray,
Fear is like a dark dungeon.